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Every Card For Every Wedding
What Comes First? Now that you know the basics of wedding stationery, you
just have to choose which invitations and announcements you need. Prepare ahead
of time. Any invitation must be sent weeks in advance. Also, many pieces of
wedding stationery (invitation, enclosures) should be printed together to ensure
the same look. On the other hand, unique pieces (engagement announcement,
rehearsal dinner invitation) are great opportunities to use your personal style.
Engagement Announcements
When to send: as soon as you get engaged
Who to tell? Parents, whether they "knew" or not, should be told, in person,
first. Immediate family and close friends should follow, also told in person.
Fortunately, you do not have to call everyone in your address book. Engagement
announcements do the work and make treasured keepsakes. Announcements should not
include a date and need not match the style of the wedding invitation (chances
are the wedding planning has only begun). In fact, they are a perfect
opportunity to reflect an interest the couple shares. Love the sea? Try an ocean
theme.
A public announcement (newspaper posting) should follow receipt of the
announcements you send. A friend or relative's feelings may be hurt if he or she
first learns of your big event in the paper. Think ahead! This is also an
opportune time to print thank-you notes. Couples usually order one set to use
throughout the engagement, and brides-to-be often get another set with their
maiden name for bridal shower gifts.
Save-the-Date Cards
When to send: as soon as you choose the date.
Typically used for holiday weddings or when guests must travel long distances,
save-the-date cards simply inform guests when the ceremony will occur. The card
may match the invitation, though not necessarily. Often, the card will note,
"Invitation to follow." Save-the-date cards should only be sent to people on the
guest list. They give guests plenty of time to make travel arrangements and
might include contact information for a particular travel agent, if one is
coordinating the wedding arrangements.
Engagement Party Invitations
When to send: four to six weeks in advance of the party
Engagement party proves a wonderful opportunity to celebrate an engagement with
close friends and family, especially if your entire family hasn't met your
future spouse. If the couple lives far away from one or both families, parents
may wish to host a party where they introduce the newly engaged couple. The
party can range in formality from a black tie cocktail party to a backyard
barbeque, and invitations should be themed accordingly. With the right wording,
any party invitation can make a great engagement party invitation. If you are
announcing your engagement at the party, the event must precede any public
announcement (otherwise, no surprise).
Engagement/Bridal Shower Invitations
When to send: four to six weeks in advance of the shower
Typically an event for the bride-to-be, showers are quickly becoming popular for
couples. They are intimate gatherings of close friends and relatives who
"shower" the bride or couple with gifts. The shower can be anything you'd like
or need it to be. Just be sure to inform your guests with invitations themed
accordingly. If you are moving into a new home, a room shower is a wonderful
idea. Assign each guest a room for which the gift should be appropriate. You can
have a round the clock shower (each guest gets a time of day), alphabet shower,
kitchen shower, lingerie shower, linen shower, stock-the-bar shower. The options
go on and on. Keep in mind: neither you nor the wedding hosts should host it,
and never invite someone not invited to the wedding.
Bachelor / Bachelorette Party Invitations
When to send: three to four weeks in advance of the party
Originating in ancient Greece as a dinner for the groom and his closest friends
the evening before the wedding, the bachelor party mourns the passing of the
groom's bachelor status. The host? The best man, traditionally. The party?
Whatever you dare make of it. As time went on, brides realized they, too, had a
loss to mourn. In today's culture, the maid or matron of honor organizes a very
quiet, solemn evening of classical music, whispered stories, and long games of
checkers, or so fiancés would like to think.
Rehearsal Dinner Invitations
When to send: four to six weeks in advance
(When the wedding hosts also host the dinner, invitations can be sent with the
wedding invitation. Otherwise they should go out at least a week later.)
The groom's parents traditionally host a dinner following the rehearsal as a
gesture of goodwill toward the bride's parents. The dinner itself has now become
a custom in the United States, regardless of an actual rehearsal. The guests
include everyone in the wedding party, the immediate families, out-of-town and
special guests, and the clergyperson or officiate and spouse. This final
celebration before the wedding should truly capture the couple's style. It can
be formal or casual, although it should never overshadow, in style or substance,
the wedding day.
Wedding Invitations
When to order: three to five months in advance
When to send: six to eight weeks in advance
Your wedding invitation is a complete package of the information your guests
will need throughout the celebration. Who, what, when, and where are
communicated in the theme of your ceremony. Enclosures, in the same paper,
design, and typestyle, provide any additional information. In the past,
invitations were limited to one design (now the standard formal design). Wording
was engraved in black ink onto the cover of heavy white or ecru cotton fiber
paper folded on the left like a greeting card. Reception cards were often
included because not everyone was invited to the reception. Response cards did
not exist, as guests replied on their personal stationery. Times, of course,
have changed. Tissue used to be required. The oil-based ink used in the
engraving process could smear or smudge, so tissue was placed over the
invitation. Now, it is included in formal invitations customarily. The use of
inner and outer envelopes is another custom originating from necessity. When
mail was delivered by hand, envelopes would arrive in horrible condition. Thus,
outer envelopes were essential. The postal system may be better now, but outer
envelopes still remain a wonderful choice. Envelopes should be addressed by a
professional calligrapher that matches the typestyle of the invitation. If you
wish, you can do it yourself with a black fountain pen.
Most importantly, envelopes should never be typewritten, though your return
address should be pre-printed with your invitations. The outer envelope should
be addressed to the household. The inner envelope has only each guest's title
and last name. If children are invited, write their first names below their
parents'. If you wish the invitee to bring a guest or escort, indicate so.
Children older than eighteen and single adults who are roommates should receive
separate invitations.
To assemble your invitations, place all enclosures on top of the invitation with
the largest piece on the bottom and smallest on top. If cards have a fold, that
edge should be inserted first. With the inner envelope face down and back flap
up, insert the cards printed sides up. Then put the inner, unsealed, into the
outer envelope so the inner's addressing faces the outers’ back flap. To
determine proper postage and avoid returned mail, weigh the invitation and all
enclosures in the envelope(s) together at the post office. Invitations can be
larger and heavier than a typical letter; so don't be surprised if you need more
postage than normal. When ordering your invitations, remember to add at least 10
for keepsakes and 15-25 more for last minute guests or guests who misplace their
invitations. Always order at least 25-50 extra envelopes. When handwriting
addresses, errors are common. Printing invitations or envelopes after the fact
is much more costly than getting extras with your original order.
Reception Cards
Invitation enclosure
Formerly a standard enclosure, the reception card is now often replaced with
corner copy, a line of text printed in the lower left hand corner of the
invitation in a smaller font ("Reception to follow"). If the reception follows
the ceremony immediately at the same location, no notice is necessary. If,
however, the reception is held at a different location or later in the day, an
enclosure is a wonderful convenience for you and your guests. Just as in the
past, if not everyone is invited to the reception, enclosures are mandatory.
Response Cards
Invitation Enclosure
Response cards exemplify tradition, giving way to necessity. Traditionally,
invitations included RSVP lines as corner copy, but today, unfortunately, many
guests do not reply to RSVP requests, and response cards are often necessary.
Fill-in cards with self-addressed, stamped envelopes are convenient. (Still,
many guests forget to write their names on the cards. You can carefully mark
each response-card envelope with a number corresponding to the guest list. Be
subtle: many guests will check their number out of curiosity. Use a pencil
lightly and hide the mark.)
Within-the-Ribbons Cards (Pew Card)
Invitation Enclosure
At larger weddings, especially those in churches or large halls, front seats or
pews are reserved (with a ribbon) for immediate family, close friends, or
special guests. Anyone seated there should receive a within-the-ribbon card to
be presented to the ushers.
Directional Cards
Invitation Enclosure
A map or directional card should be included for anyone unfamiliar with the area
or if the reception is at a different location. Maps should be professionally
printed. A badly photocopied sheet reflects poorly on the whole invitation. (See
additional enclosures.)
At-Home Cards
Invitation Enclosure
When the couple chooses to make a new home, at-home cards spread the news. They
simply state when the couple will be at the new address and which name the bride
will use. If you do include them, you may do so with both invitations and
wedding announcements.
Additional Invitation Enclosures
Feel free to provide any other necessary information such as an alternate
location for an outdoor wedding, parking, or travel information. If many
enclosures are necessary, you may choose to mail them when guests have
positively responded.
Menu Cards
A menu card is placed at each table or place setting before the reception if the
caterer has prepared a choice of entrees. These cards should be in the same
style as your invitation.
Place Cards
These are necessary if your reception has specific seating. Guests' names are
hand-written onto small cards or paper tents cut from the same stock as your
invitations.
Wedding Announcements
When to send: the day after the ceremony, or later. Wedding announcements are
for anyone not invited or unable to attend the wedding and should be sent by a
friend the day after. Never send them before the ceremony. Announcements use the
same design as your invitation. The wording is also similar, though written in
the past tense.
Thank-You Notes
When to send: two to four weeks after gifts are received
Don't forget the thank-you notes! You'll encounter many instances where you will
need to write a formal thank you or drop a quick note of thanks. When you order
your invitations, have your thank you notes custom printed in the same style. A
great alternative to the traditional thank-you note is one printed with a
photograph of the bride and groom. An engagement photo thank-you note makes a
treasured keepsake for everyone. This time is also ideal for ordering your first
personal stationery as a couple. Use your wedding theme in your correspondence
cards or letterhead. You could borrow paper, typestyles, or colors from your
engagement announcement or rehearsal dinner invitation.
| WHAT you need |
WHEN you need it |
WHY it's proper |
| ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENTS |
Because of school, military service or other plans, your
wedding date may be far in the future. If you want people to know you're
engaged, plan an announcement using the wedding invitation format. |
Either formal or informal copy is proper to let everyone
share your exciting news. |
| WEDDING INVITATIONS with ENVELOPES |
Used for anyone you want to attend the ceremony (even if
they're ill or too far away to actually come.) Always shows who is going
to get married on what day of what year (spelled out in full) at what
time and what location. |
An occasion this important rates more than a casual
invitation. Elegance is enhanced by coordinating with lined inside
envelopes.
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| RECEPTION CARDS |
Mailed along with the invitation, this card announces
the time and place of your reception. |
This invitation says "you are special" No envelope is
needed. |
| RESPONSE CARD with PRINTED RETURN ENVELOPE |
If the number of people you can invite to
the ceremony is limited or if you are planning food for a reception,
it's a necessity that you know how many people to expect. |
Including Response Card with invitation is a
thoughtful way to ease the guest's responsibility to reply to formal
invitations. |
| WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS |
If your circle of friends and relatives is larger than
the list you intended to invite to the ceremony, or if you have a
private wedding, you'll want to send announcements of your change in
status.
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An announcement is simply a statement of news, which
does not require sending a gift. |
| AT HOME CARDS |
To be sent with invitation or announcement, or
separately after the wedding. It tells people your new address. |
Makes finding you at your new address easier. It's also
O.K. to distribute during reception. |
| THANK YOU FORMALS |
A perfectly proper time-saver for those very busy first
days after the wedding. |
It's a thoughtful way to let gift givers know their gift
was received. And if you wish, you can write a personal thank-you later. |
| INFORMALS |
With or without the name of the groom, this stationary
is needed for a personal ''thank you'' |
Also excellent for many other occasions where only brief
correspondence is required. |
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